So my dad and my brother are in Ireland this week for my cousin's wedding. Mom is home alone. (someone had to feed the cows!) I asked her if she was lonely she said no. She liked not having to think of anyone but herself for a week. She could come and go as she pleased and she has been. This past weekend she went out and came back at 11:30 at night! I told her she was a party animal just like her daughter. She laughed at me of course.
Being able to come and go as I please is what I miss most about the states. I could go out at 10pm and come home at 10am and not have to report in to anyone. I had freedom (and a car). In El Salvador my trade off for living with cable, internet, a washing machine, and a real shower is living with a family. Which means if i don't come home I have to call. If I don't want to eat dinner I get a guilt trip. If I sleep in late I again feel guilty. and I am NEVER alone! It kinda wears me out! I got to bed at like 8 or 9ish and wake up at 6:45am cuz i am always so tired! There goes the party animal in me! Hopefully I can get back to her when I get back to the states but at that time will I be too old to go out like I use to?
Many people talk about their lives before Peace Corps and how they were so different. You change so much so quickly here. I remember the first night I slept in my current house and heard the rats in the ceiling. PETRIFIED! I was so disgusted and scared they were going to come down on me in the middle of the night. Now I talk to the damn things. Seeing a tarantula or scorpion or cockroach is now common and I pay no mind to it. (granted a beneift of living with a family means all i have to do is shout and someone else comes and kills it!) So I got over my phobias of creatures.
More than anything though, I have learned to live simply and slow down (way down).
Jumping back into that fast paced lifestyle is going to be the hardest adjustment when I go home. So I keep wondering...will i fall right into being the old me or will I have changed?